my dreams of the past few nights have been having pink hair,

traveling in thailand shopping for orchids

as well as driving down lombardi street

having boys riding bicycles next to me

telling me they love me.

dreams while traveling are always more

strange and savored.

today begins my month long embarkment of living out of my suitcase.

ann will travel.

even if it means by car and in the midwest.

there are celebrations, graduations,

new years and weddings to be had!

no matter the time of year,

no matter how much snow or how cold it is

i wear these shoes.

good things happen in these shoes.

and i hate wearing socks.

i will never get over this song.

or its video.

early new years post.

2009.

spent new years with my best friend.

went to egypt.

came back.

suffered three weeks of adjusting back.

continued the tradition, every wednesday.

worked.

"annwednesdays" at then kinnicoffee with ella.

made lovely new friends.

planned on penland.

didnt get to go to penland.

worked.

found future milwaukee home.

had thee best birthday of my life.

yeah yeah yeahs at first ave.

secret beach adventures and the st. croix.

patrick's 21st birthday.

solo duluth trip, found lupines.

"beer olympics"

dad's hip replacement.

river falls days.

assumed my role of wedding photographer.

july/early august misadventures.

said goodbye, after three years, to work.

moved to milwaukee.

went back to river falls for 'goodbye week.'

began grad school.

wedding photographer round deux/river falls revival.

bon iver at the riverside theater.

andrew bird at the pabst theater.

david sedaris at stevens point.

jason's bfa art show.

halloween and its costumes.

train to and from chicago (SOFA).

madison adventures.

thanksgiving in milwaukee with friends.

dad's engagement.

the completion of my first semester of grad school.

while the rest of december is going to offer much more (going "home", best friends graduation among other adventures...), looking back, i find satisfaction in 2009.

i just realized.

i am what i wanted to be when i grow up.

my childhood and teenage hopes of being an artist.

being a photographer. being a traveler.

this random self actualization. how profound.

i am who i wanted to be.

and i am happy.

and now, what is left to do, is to push what i have accomplished, push who i am.

what on earth could i have been? it does not matter.

i am who i wanted to be.

the gluttony.

this week has brought forth friends, food and the usual antics.

and it was so needed. inviting those i love into my home to

create a non-traditional holiday that is something out of glossy magazine.

im going to over indulge on all of this until they depart sunday.

((images:: artist lauren kalman))

makes me want a sister to be creative with.

and attempt a short hair style again.

through the madness of speeches, presentations, papers, readings, projects and various required tasks for the completion of my first semester of grad school, i am able to still observe and appreciate the little things i stumble past. 

even if just for a few seconds.

tonight. parking garage. downtown. on my way to a community action project. via camera phone.

while i have never been one to procrastinate (in undergrad etc.)

the harder the stuff, the more procrastination i do.

and its unsettling. and why i love this video.

i am just made up of images and words.

and its more complicated than i ever imagined.

i like the challenge.

i am one big gestalt mess.

((penland:: aug.2008))

this past weekend's train ride and adventures to chicago left me satisfied. 

but i am left aching. wanting to gather my passport and go out into the world again.

sifting through photographs of past travel calms the nerves.

((egypt:: january 2009))

family portraits.

the people i love. 

we have an on going tradition of creating "family portraits" together.

the first-from jason's art exhibition.

the second- the boys in front of their humble home, 

which has been aptly named 

neveland raunch.

i am drawn to the playfulness and the seriousness between the two.

for those who know, we are a hybrid of both.

this past weekend: 

documented my lovely friend and talented artist, 

jason kittel's exhibition.

"the fallacy of hope."

river falls quarry. 

the perfect place for his work.

was there all day saturday. the whiskey on hand helped with the cold.

one of the best shows i have seen. even if he is a dear friend.

((j.kittel::10.31.2009))

this round of wedding photos::done.

this also means::pay day.

((jade and kathy::09.26.2009))

multi-tasking as a hobby.

editing photos. required grad school readings.

fashioning a halloween costume.

searching and interviewing for next semester's clinical internships.

more photos.

more readings.

((feathers for costume::10.26.2009))

the fizz.

weekend simplicity.

dvds. sketchbook revivals. observational learning.

as always,  tis the insignificant things that matter most.

((saturday::10.24.2009))

still swooning from mr. andrew bird's show.

these videos are not from the performance i witnessed.

but yet, i swoon none the less.

his looping techniques baffle and amaze me.

and the whistling.

and the violin usage.

and i could go on.

scrambling.

the beginnings of a series of seemingly un-relatable scenes. 

still refusing to let go of concept in my art making.

((oshkosh: new london: milwaukee: 09.20.2009))

"we live every ounce of life with a creative passion that cannot be measured by science. its a great phenomenon that cannot be analyzed nor put into a formula."- conclusion reached between a friend and myself, to explain how we do and what we do.

((part of a portrait:: acrylic paint))

bon iver. riverside theater. last sunday.

i have never felt such an energy in a room before. 

an overwhelming sense of humanity and raw emotion.

live music is the best music.

a week later, and i still cannot get it out of my head.

ive got heat.

ive got tea.

i dont need much more.

((kitchen table::10.10.2009))

oh. my.

gawd.

ive never had an affinity for ice cream.

this is completely different.

what is it about the season fall. october especially. the atmosphere and style of this time of year. something so wholesome and simple. a lingering reminiscence of the past. something clairvoyant or enchanting about everything. apples and gourds. monochromatic colors and leaves. i find that this feeling vanishes once the first of november comes along.

((kitchen table::10.08.2009))

when im not consumed by my master studies::my simple happiness comes from

*reading my anthologies of

the best creative non-fiction

*trying to perfect the art

making the perfect cup of tea

*mailing postcards, checking my mailbox

*exhausting my movie

collection and music library

*trying to diagnose pop culture

icons using my trusty DSM-IV

*chasing east side pavement